Remember the old "Lover's  Bridge" up in Salisbury? The love stories this old bridge could tell would make you fall in love again. Notice the sign that says Clearance 7' 6"

This certainly isn't a love story, but ya all will enjoy it.

There were two old geezers, from Salisbury,
living on the stream before the bridge was built.... 
Rufus and Clarence.

They lived on opposite sides of the river, 
and they hated each other. 
Every morning, just after sun-up, 
Rufus and Clarence would go down to 
their respective sides of the river 
and yell at each other. 

"Rufus!!" Clarence would shout. 
"You better thank yor lucky stars I cain't swim.... 
er I'd swim this river and whup your butt!!" 
"Clarence!!!" Rufus would holler back. 
"You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I cain't swim... 
er I'd swim this river and whup your skinny butt!!!" 
This happened every morning for twenty years. 

One day the covered bridge was built

Still, every morning, every day 
for another five years this yelling 
across the river goes on, even with the bridge. 

Finally....Mrs.Rufus had had enough. 
"Rufus!" she squallers one day. 
"I cain't take no more!! 
Ever day for 25 years 
you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence. 
Well, there's the bridge......have at it." 
Rufus thought for a moment. 
Chewed his bottom lip for another moment. 
"Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place, 
"I'm gonna across that thar bridge and 
I'm gonna whup Clarence's butt!!!" 

He walked out the door, down to the river, 
along the riverbank, came to the bridge, 
stepped up onto the bridge, 
looked up..... 
TURNED TAIL AND RAN SCREAMING 
BACK TO THE HOUSE, 
SLAMMED THE DOOR, 
BOLTED THE WINDOWS, 
GRABBED THE SHOTGUN 
AND DOVE, PANTING AND GASPING, 
UNDER THE BED!!!!! 

"Rufus!" cried the misses. 
"I thought you wuz gonna whup Clarence's butt!!!" 
"I was, woman, I was!!" he whispered. 
"Rufus!" cried the misses. 
"What in tarnation is the matter?" 

"Well," muttered the terror-stricken Rufus, 
" I went to the bridge...... 
I stepped up on the bridge..... 
looked up....." 
"And?" asked Mrs. Rufus, 
breathless with suspense. 
"And," continued Rufus, 
"I saw a sign that said 
"Clearance, 7 feet, 6 inches" 
he ain't never looked that big 
from the other side of the river!!!!!!!" 

 

Looking out the bridge window called "lovers leap." For if the fair maiden wasn't falling in love with him enough to marry, he jumped out of his buggy right through the window.

"Next"

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